ICanHasCheezburger Community Members Confess The Most Outrageous Things They've Said To Their Cats, The Results Are Purrfect

Author image for kalila courban
kalila courban
Apr 9, 2023 12:00 PM EDT

If you're a cat owner, you know that sometimes you find yourself saying the most outrageous things to your furry friend. We asked the ICanHasCheezburger community members to share the most hilarious, ridiculous things they've caught themselves saying to their cats, and the responses were absolutely purrfect. From reminding their cats to "use their words" to asking if they're "making good choices," it's clear that these cat owners have a sense of humor when it comes to communicating with their pets. And who can blame them? Cats have a way of bringing out the silly side in all of us. One community member even admitted to telling their cat, "Well, I'm GLAD the cactus made you barf! It serves you right!" Hey, we've all been there! 

But perhaps the most outrageous response we received was from someone who found themselves saying to someone else's cat at a birthday party: "How about you and me hang out and hate everyone else together?" Hey, we can't blame them! Sometimes hanging out with a cat is way more appealing than making small talk with strangers, actually- most of the time. In the end, it's clear that cats bring out the best (and most hilarious) in us and we are grateful. So next time you catch yourself saying something outrageous to your feline friend, just remember, you're in good company.

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  • 01
    Font - Martina Wolfseher We have four kitties (13 years, 7 years and 8 months old). Harry (youngest) loves to annoy Lucy (oldest). Whenever he does so and Lucy punches him and hisses I say to him: "When will you learn that not every other cat wants to play with you??" and he always meows back at me as if he wants to complain about the situation. Reply Hide Send Message 6d Like 2
    via Martina Wolfseher
  • 02
    Rectangle - Nancy Goldstein I tell her she's not allowed to attack my bed; its not a scratching post. But I also tell her she can sleep on it if she wants. Like Reply Hide Send Message 6d 2
    via Nancy Goldstein
  • 03
    Font - Emily Little "Don't you talk back to me" or "Move, we have this conversation several times a day, you have to move so I can use the bathroom, or I can't turn the faucet on", or "Please stop eating the bag", "You can't eat the lamp", "Why?", "Could you not?!", "Don't start crap with your brother". Like Reply Hide Send Message 6d
    via Emily Little
  • 04
    Rectangle - Ronda Kisner If you kill me The Man will not feed you as much as I do. 25 Like Reply Hide Send Message 6d
    via Ronda Kisner
  • 05
    Font - Leanne Martinez Me to my daughter's cat: "No, I am the boss of her and she is the boss of you, therefore you are not my boss. I'm the boss's boss. Basically the CEO. You are still in the mail room." My daughter: "You better check your tone, cheese (her cat's name). The bOsS is here." Like Reply Hide Send Message 6d LO 5
    via Leanne Martinez
  • 06
    Cat - Top fan Sandra Rosenberg "If you don't stop kicking my head and let me cut your nails, I'm going to wrap you in a towel so you can't move and then I'll cut them." He then stuck his foot out and I trimmed his nails. He was wicked smart and understood everything I said. Like Reply Hide Send Message 6d 6
    via Sandra Rosenberg
  • 07
    Human body - Lisa Fitzgerald Russell "Stop being a black cat on a black rug in the dark" as I tripped over him in the mudroom. Like Reply Hide Send Message 6d 7
    via Lisa Fitzgerald Russell
  • 08
    Rectangle - Mell D'Clute I apologize to her all the time at night as she curls up against me and I constantly roll over. I don't know if that counts as outrageous or weird, but it happens every night. Like Reply Hide Send Message 6d LO 5
    via Mell D'Clute
  • 09
    Font - Top fan MA Rie Cat: Still asleep at 8am Me: Woke up early at 6am watching her sleep. Then 9am hits, she still sleeping. Me: GET UP YOU LAZY CHILD.. IT'S 9AM ALREADY AND YOU'RE NOT ASKING FOR BREAKFAST? Cat: one eyed open "MEH" goes back to sleeping Like Reply Hide Send Message 6d
    via MA Rie
  • 10
    Rectangle - Top fan Larry Garrison I never say anything outrageous to my kittys cause I know they'll use against me at sometime when I least expect it or I'm not prepared for cause they're smart little munchkins............ Like Reply Hide Send Message 6d
    via Larry Garrison
  • 11
    Rectangle - Top fan Angelina M. Clark how did you even manage?!...you don't want to know. I'll just clean it up. Like Reply Hide Send Message 6d know what. no. no. I
    via Angelina M. Clark
  • 12
    Font - Belinda Hartley She doesn't pronounce her name like that!! 11 "I (To her Vet) Like Reply Hide Send Message 6d Edited 15
    via Belinda Hartley
  • 13
    Smile - Callie Jay I sing to my cat Coco a Lana del Rey song called Wild at Heart but I substitute it to "I love you lots like Coco Pops" instead of "I love you lots like polka dots". Like Reply Hide Send Message 6d 3
    via Callie Jay
  • 14
    Rectangle - Alex Carmichael "Hey, what do you want to do tonight? -meow-. Perfect, let's do that" Like Reply Hide Send Message 6d
    via Alex Carmichael
  • 15
    Rectangle - Vicki Walters I walked into the bathroom and one of the cats was using the litter box. I said, "omg sorry!" And ran out, shielding my eyes. Like Reply Hide Send Message 6d
    via Vicki Walters
  • 16
    Human body - Nico Chuntaro "Why does it feel like your following me yet walking in front of me at the same time?" Like Reply Hide Send Message 6d 6
    via Nico Chuntaro
  • 17
    Rectangle - Top fan Melody Seebode My mother used to gently squeeze the fat part of her cat's thigh and declare, "Pot of soup!" (Don't worry. She never did. () DO 9 Like Reply Hide Send Message 6d
    via Melody Seebode
  • 18
    Font - Joanna Weber You're getting too old to clean yourself properly and I need to help you so turn around and let me brush your back. He was not impressed and bit me because I needed to get the fur brushed where he wasn't cleaning himself and it was hurting even though I was being gentle. Good news is I'm getting there so hopefully it will get easier and less painful for him. Like Reply Hide 6d
    via Joanna Weber
  • 19
    Rectangle - Ingrid Maria Walker Yes, I AM your real mother, Chancho Walker!!! Like Reply Hide Send Message 6d 5026
    via Ingrid Maria Walker
  • 20
    Cat - Top fan Mary Crippen Too many to recount, however, this was her reaction when I barked at her. Don't know what I said, but apparently she did, and it must have been bad. ⁹ Like Reply Hide Send Message 6d Edited 33
    via Mary Crippen
  • 21
    Rectangle - Eva DeJesus "Don't you talk back to me and give me all that sass!" 3 Like Reply Hide Send Message 6d
    via Eva DeJesus
  • 22
    Rectangle - Top fan Alene C Van Lerberg When a flock of geese flew over, I told my wonderful idiot "hey, if you can catch one, you can eat it.” This was 9 years ago today, on his 11th birthday. Like Reply Hide Send Message 6d 2
    via Alene C Van Lerberg
  • 23
    Font - Vanessa Henderson I had a cat who was beyond brilliant for an animal. I'd ask him to call everyone to dinner, and he'd go round up my husband and son. I've never known a smarter cat. He was quite the kitty genius until old age got to him. Like Reply Hide Send Message 5d
    via Vanessa Henderson
  • 24
    Rectangle - Rebecca Brooks "Use your words" "are you making good choices?" Send Message 6d Like Reply Reply Hide 22
    via Rebecca Brooks
  • 25
    Rectangle - Sharyn Vest "Stop licking my feet and just tell me what you want!" As I run away from him. It's usually food, a cuddle or for his own entertainment... Like Reply Hide Send Message 6d
    via Sharyn Vest
  • 26
    Rectangle - Summer Gidewall PurrMeow Meoooow Mow. Purrrrpurrrpurrr Apparently it's not normal to talk in "Cat" to cats? It worked though, he came out of the forbidden craft room like I asked him to. Like Reply Hide Send Message 6d 3
    via Summer Gidewall
  • 27
    Font - Dawn Sye I do not negotiate with terrorists 33
    via Dawn Sye
  • 28
    Rectangle - Jennifer Rupp "Well, I'm GLAD the cactus made you barf! It serves you right!" Like Reply Hide Send Message 6d 28
    via Jennifer Rupp
  • 29
    Human body - Top fan Tina Avery Hillson Why have you got kitty litter on your FOREHEAD?? Like Reply Hide Send Message 6d 13
    via Tina Avery Hillson
  • 30
    Organism - Susanne Gilmore My neighbor used to tease his cat by saying "gatito burrito" meaning the cat could become dinner. Now I tell my cats "gatito burrito" when I have to give them medicine or clean my cat's damaged eye because I have to wrap them up in a towel burrito style to get them medicated. Like Reply Hide Send Message 6d 13
    via Susanne Gilmore
  • 31
    Human body - Jacob Shada To someone else's cat at a birthday party: How about you and me hang out and hate everyone else together? Like Reply Hide Send Message 6d 15
    via Jacob Shada
  • 32
    Rectangle - Corey Lim Schadeck Once a cockroach ran across my living room and my grey tuxy boy just layer in his spot. I "took care of" the cockroach and turned to my boy and said "you have 1 job!" To which he just rolled over and showed his belly. 6 Like Reply Hide Send Message 6d
    via Corey Lim Schadeck
  • 33
    Mammal - Bonnie Elizabeth Adams Lewis I recognize you're trying to make me feel better, but I need my toes to walk and I'd appreciate it if you'd stop nibbling on them. Thanks. (Spoiler: she did not stop nibbling.) Like Reply Hide Send Message 6d 9
    via Bonnie Elizabeth Adams Lewis
  • 34
    Font - Wendy Lindley Weathers Pope Too many to type. I tell my oranges that they are the orangest cats to ever orange. And if you have an orange, you absolutely know that to orange is a verb. I say bless you when they sneeze. I make up songs about them. The list goes on and on Like Reply Hide Send Message 6d 4
    via Wendy Lindley Weathers Pope
  • 35
    Rectangle - Julie Siegel "Nice girls don't bite their mama.” I say this so often it's ridiculous. Like Reply Hide Send Message 6d 5
    via Julie Siegel

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wholesome hilarious cat cute felines feline Cats funny byICHC
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